hinamatsuri

these are not hina dolls. these are some other dolls. but I once made some dolls similiar to these (and thus, quite unlike hina dolls), using scraps from the fabric of my formal dress, which my mum made, which was really actually a corset, laced with a leather cord and a bit of gauze for a skirt, which widened my hips and I hated it, which was the part from which these gorgeous scraps came...should have cut the skirt to shreds (just think how many quite-unlike-hina-dollies I could have fashioned). I would have rocked up to my formal as a kinda barbarella-cinderella-xena warrior woman. shoulda coulda woulda. I think of these things NOW!

anyway. these, on the other hand, THESE are the real, traditional, authentic and all that, coveted hina royal couple. these are the great grandparents of any real collector's collection. and they require, nay, deserve, nay, DEMAND something of equal impressivenessaciousness upon which to sit. and from which to be admired. much like the original, real, royal couple, I imagine.

here is, what translates as, the Suitably Impressive Palace Collection of ancient hina dolls, held in the museum in Kyoto. apparently, the stand, upon which they stand, means as much to the collectors as do the dolls. now, not being a super obsessive collector of anything except Just the Right Shoe tiny shoes (and just the right fit any-other-brand of gorgeous, delicious shoes which may or may not co-ordinate with anything already in my wardrobe), I guess I can only try to comprehend the enormity of such a heavy decision as, upon WHAT shall my precious hina dolls be displayed for all eternity? because, after all, it is forever. these are not the sort of dolls that do somersaults in the air, thanks to daddy, halfway between the sea and the sizzling sausages to amuse the children who were fine still swimming but have been told to get out of the ocean ten minutes too soon (ten minutes before the mama has barely had a sip of chilled chardonnay. no issues here). they are not the sort of dolls that are plunged regularly and lovingly into baths of coloured, bubbled water...because it's hot, Mama and the dollies need to swim too, Mama; oh please may I put the dollies in for a swim in their shell pool, Mama? OKAY, YOU MAY!!!

no issues. and of course we have spanish anatomically correct dollies for THOSE GAMES!

my tiny shoes, by the way, in case you have ben wondering since I mentioned them; are displayed prettily in little glass cabinets. if I were a tiny shoe, let me tell you, there is no other place on Earth I'd rather be.

anyway. back to the set of stairs- the most impressive set of red velvet miniture stairs I have ever seen. except perhaps in early sketches for The Phantom of the Opera Masquerade set. but then they went all sweeping and timber in the redesign. not nearly as impressive.

here we have the Maleny Manor Collection, featuring open spaces and bright colours; reflecting the natural light, directing the desired chi...if I were a hina doll, I think I would like to live HERE. and do grassroots community theatre. and eat organic. and save the platypus. here is where it's at. for a hina doll.

and so this is the Kyoto Beach Shack Collection. this is where I, in my hina (Barbie) doll fantasy, take extended vacations sans children (do hina dolls have children? far be it from me to underestimate the powers of inanimate procreation). you know, I don't know about building holiday shacks along a major typhoon strip but still, it does LOOK beach shackish. in a Japanese, typhoon-coast kinda way. I know what you're thinking: what were they thinking? look, I don't know; who EVER knows what they're thinking as they're building, naming; these private collector types. even less can be said for those who build beach shacks on a...........beach. um. of course, that's why we live on a volcanic mountain. ummm...

so today is kinda Girls' Day in Japan. only kinda because it's actually about the hina dolls themselves- they draw all the evil spirits to them and take them away in their little louis vuittons, on a little trip down the river and out to sea- and actually, to have a Girls' Day without an equality-affronting Boys' Day would be blatently politically incorrect these days (remember when it was politically correct to be politically incorrect? well of course you do! David Williamson wrote some of his best plays then).

of course we could never have Girls' Day here in Australia. never! the boys (and men) would never allow it! not Girls' Day! it would have to be known, of course, as Sheilas' Day. and then, of course, we would have to mark a day of even greater reverance, which would be known as Blokes' Day. nice. I'm okay with it. the more I think about it, the more I think we could do with 2 more public holidays in the Australian working calendar. and I think both days could do with a bit of BBQ and beer action. and beach cricket. there's really no delination between the sexes when it comes to a good bit of steak on the barbie, a few beers and an afternoon of beach cricket in bikinis. or boardies. as per your preference, mate.

anyway, where were we? beach cricket and beers! yes! no? oh. Japan. right. bikinis! um. no. bikinis under kimonos? yes! saki! YES! and...beer chasers! don't try to tell me I know nothing about Japanese culture.

so of course I only know about today, which will be almost tomorrow by the time I publish this, being hina matsuri because I have people I know in Japan. not all of them are girls but all of them are currently in Japan. in fact, one of them- who is not a girl at all and never was and most assuredly never will be- was in hina doll CENTRAL just yesterday and look, I think that's enough to warrant ardent curiosity about what particular national festival and which cultural traditions are being celebrated on any given day somewhere. don't you?

I actually forgot to ask him politely, if he was able, whilst in Kyoto, to check out the doll collections in the museum and in the many private collector's homes, along with the shrines and the zen temples...WHAT?!! it's a reasonable question! he has daughters! two of them! and a wife! only one of them...don't tell me that THAT is not a DOLLS' house(hold) right there. you cannot tell me that a man from a house full of women, went to Kyoto during a doll festival and did not see any dolls.

I can only hope that any dolls that were purchased, to take home to the Dolls' House, have been packed away by now, out of sight, before the conclusion of the festival.

OR THEY WILL TAKE HIS SOUL.

actually, I don't know that I remember reading that; I just thought it was about bloody time I wrapped up this post and it seemed to be a nice, dramatic way to do so.

but BEWARE THE UNHIDDEN HINA DOLL AT DAYBREAK.

see? I can't help it.

THE ONLY REMEDY IS TO COLLECT THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS AS THEY FALL...

okay, it's just that voice, you know the voice, you can hear it in your head too; it's the VOICE OF DOOM, which one guy, since the beginning of celluloid time, has had the monopoly over. I think he also does the, PREVIOUSLY ON LOST and NEXT WEEK ON NCIS voiceovers. I will find out who he is and let you know so that you (and I) can book him in for any dramatic event in your life. you will just hear, booming out across the atmosphere,

LAST WEEK SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED...

THIS WEEK HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU...

and TAKE A SEAT. YOUR DENTIST WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY...

and THE HINA DOLLS HAVE STOLEN YOUR SOUL AND THE CHERRY TREES DON'T BLOSSOM FOR DAAAYS (with DAYS DAYS DAYS DAYS reverb)................................

bummer. bit of bad luck. but how much better is it with your own voiceover?

see now? look, what you made me do. this post is STILL UNFINISHED...

ah. better. with the voiceover. now I can leave it unfinished, having digressed, as I do, with the voiceover guy telling y'all,

NEXT TIME, IN A QUIET SPACE.........................