Wednesday 26 September 2007

to sign or not to sign

more?

more swimming?


Dear Poppalina,

there was never any question about it, we were always going to sign. I googled it and liked Alison Besson's Tinytalk (based on auslan) and ordered it and I've been learning it a step ahead of Poppy since she was three months old. she started to sign independently, with intent, at 6mths (fish, food, more, sleep)...





suddenly, the daycare director poses the issue for next year, "She's not very vocal, is she? She signs rather than speaks, doesn't she? I wonder how she'll go in the toddler house next year, where no one else will understand her signs?" well! I wonder if you, madame director, will stay true to your word and have all of your carers trained in macedon (universal special needs sign language)? expose them to baby sign language? google babytalk? borrow my tinytalk dvd for a PD session, for God's sake!





I'm well aware that there is a whole school of thought that articulates (haha) signing delays speech development cue lights. cue villain music and the other, the one that I obviously prefer to subscribe to, which claims that signing encourages pre-speech confidence and a child's ability to communicate expressively and imaginatively, building vocabulary and grammatical knowledge more efficiently than not signing at all cue lights. cue fanfare. conclusive evidence-in our household-reveals that the latter is in fact, an accurate description. to say that Poppy is "not very vocal" is absurd because she doesn't actually stop babbling away all day, exclaiming, commenting, responding, agreeing or disagreeing...they are listening for the words alone. Poppy is communicating the same message, using a beautifully expressive voice as well as her signs, which are easily recognised because she uses them so confidently and consistently. she signs complete sentences! she says, "mama" and signs, "mama, milky please?" and then says, "Mama," and signs, "mama, no more milky there; all gone. the other one, please. thank you." at dinner she will sign, "mama, I'm hungry. pasta and a drink, please." then, "more pasta, please Mama. thank you." and then, "all done, no more, thank you." tell me you get that much, with as much conviction, from other 16 month olds and I'll document it!





the thought has crossed my mind that the frustration we have thus far avoided (tantrums are expressions of frustration due to inadequate communicative skills and therefore feeling misunderstood. comes full circle to teenagers. and husbands. hehehe), may come when other people fail to read and respond to her signs. we may have tantrums yet! however, I think having established an open channel of communication via signs and developing speech blah blah blah we may just have one of the most amiable little girls around. until someone pushes her.





it's happened twice (that I'm aware of). the first time at swimming, pre-lesson, when Poppy stepped carefully over the door frame into the little viewing area ahead of me and a little boy in her group shoved her in the chest. Poppy froze and stared at him and then looked up at me with her big, brown, beautiful eyes as if to say, "what the..." I waited for the half-a-second in which I expected his mother to respond and, to her credit, she did; told him he cannot push other children. ok. but I felt that more needed to be said, for the good of humanity. for tolerance and understanding. for world peace. so I showed him the sign for "sorry" and I said, "J, if you show Poppy 'sorry,' she will know you have apologised for pushing her." and he did. and his mum and the other little boy's mum went, "ohhh, well, I never, etc, etc," and they wanted the full run down on baby signing and does it help and does it delay speech development and does she really not have real tantrums and.........





second violent action taken against my child? at daycare. damn daycare. what a ridiculous situation to be in now, during school holidays, when I'm at home and she's at daycare! everyone tells me, "oh, you're so lucky, make the most of that time to yourself." but I really missed her yesterday. anyway, on monday when I picked her up, we sat on the floor with stacking cups, to talk to her carer about the day (she ate like a champion, slept like, well, like a baby, played beautifully with everyone in the yard and pottered around in the garden on her own for a bit). another little boy ran at her and shoved her in the back, pushing her over into a very elegant, though inappropriate at the time, yoga position over her outstretched toes! and then he pushed her again! at which point, Poppy clambered up into my lap, signing, "up, up with Mama!" and Kellie, the carer, had pulled the boy up into her lap and told him that we do not push and take toys from other children, here, take this book to read...phew! Sam's entire family, without exception would say, "PUSH HIM BACK!" however, this is unacceptable as an initial reaction and I am teaching her to sign AND SAY, "NO. PLEASE STOP!" and to walk away. hard at this age. hard when you have definately absolutely will never ever compromise decided on a no-smack policy and then feel like...well, you absolutely feel like smacking the child, who has maliciously hurt your child, around the head! but you don't. because you don't believe that's the way. and there's the difference between people. there's the difference, in that moment of be careful what you wish for thinking, that separates the peace-loving, tolerant people of the world from the war-farers. I truly believe that. everything we can be is already in all of the children. all the best qualities of a human being. children learn by watching us. it might be innate to act violently towards another who has something you want. but only the first time. children are so lucky and so unlucky to be able to watch us. to learn from us. so that the next time they can make a different choice. because they have seen a better result come out of a different course of action. watch them and you'll learn. you'll learn all the ways their parents are spoiling the world for them. making it that much harder to be a kid. and to grow to be a truly responsible adult.

Baby girl, this is "that song my mama sings from the show when she met my daddy."








good luck, Poppalina Eponina! you are already the most fantastic and talented person I know! you will do so well. you will be just fine. I love you so much.

love from

your Mama.

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