you know how you get stuck at the lights or stuck behind an agonisingly slow sunday volvo driver and something up ahead happens, which may have killed you had you been there, in that spot, at that precise moment in time but fortunately for you, the hand of God put that bloody red light there instead, so you go along your merry (or not) little way and realise (or not) that you are indeed blessed (or lucky) to be alive on this earth today and will live to see another. day. very unlikely that you'll see another earth...anyway, here's the story now:
we left early because Poppalina was so upset to go into the car rather than into bed for sleep, after milky. usually she settles and sleeps in the car. not tonight. combination of factors really, when one considers the daily operations and procedures surrounding and impacting on the situation at large...
well now, let's see, there's daycare=new faces (carers and kids), new food, new fun, new sleeping arrangements, new expectations, new frustrations (she signs so clearly, it's just that the girls and the other children need to catch on and catch up!) and then there's no daddy before the morning now because he's at his show straight after work every day and there's exhaustion and then there's the mama's exhaustion (though somehow we manage to do yoga and somersaults in the room before sunset) and then, beyond the point of (mama's) exhaustion there are the floors to clean and the dishes to do and the washing to put on and it may be great for losing calories but it's even more EXHAUSTING holding the bubba AND THE HOOVER, then there are random phone calls, visitors and early evening family commitments, dinner, a bath, breastfeeding and then there are rehearsals! all before the sweet release of a full night's sleep and the dreams we think we ought to be allowed to enjoy! finally! surely! phew! what's a mama, I mean, bubba to do?
that's right. that's exactly what the bubba will do. get up at least twice in the night, calling so beautifully to me, "mama! mama!" and ask/sign politely, sleepily for milky while turning up tiny pursed princess lips for kisses and maybe or maybe not have thrown up at some stage or stood up to escape most of the mess of an awful (still-a-little-bit-sick) nappy, so that mama has to wake daddy (and oh boy, isn't that a task in itself?) to help mama clean the bed and the baby and get back to bed and have milky in bed and then stay in bed with the mama and the daddy and that's the way we really all prefer it anyway.
so, having left early, we actually got within range, got lost, got soooooo extremely tired and over it, couldn't get out of the car and leave Poppy in it to ask directions, couldn't ring anyone 'cause stupidly, all the numbers are in Sam's phone, couldn't find a directory, couldn't ask a frightening-looking feral local where to go, couldn't take it any longer and finally said to self, "Self, it is soooo time to go home." so, really, entirely my fault. and so really tired now. and so really looking forward to this show being another fun one. not a big stress.
Poppy is sleeping snugly in her own bed at this very minute, arms tucked under torso, little bum in the air, head turned to face Lilyblue bunny. my baby. the only thing I was thinking about was getting her into her own bed. once she was in and I had exhaled I realised that. breathe in now.
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